A would-be knight who tried to woo a maiden by riding into her home on a horse is facing five years behind bars for aggravated breaking and entry.
Lovelorn Jan Rudnicki, 40, hatched the scheme to bowl over divorcee Gosia Domoslawska after a night's drinking down his local bar in Jarnoltowka, Poland.
But terrified Gosia, 36, dialed 999 when her drunken suitor - stripped to the waist - galloped up her garden path and smashed his way through the front door like a battering ram.
"He's a loon. I was at home watching TV with my daughter when I heard this deafening crash and suddenly this half-naked man on a horse appeared in my front room," she said.
"I never fancied him before and I certainly don't now. If this was supposed to win my heart he must be seriously off his rocker," added Gosia.
Pal Mirek Nowak explained: "At first we thought Jan was joking. But then he went outside, climbed onto this horse - which he'd ridden to the pub - and set off bare-breasted and bare-backed.
"The next thing we knew, he'd been arrested."
Now the divorced dad-of-seven Jan has apologised and offered to replace the door.
But a police spokesman said: "Smashing into someone's home uninvited is a crime and he will be punished for it."